I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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