I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
