after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
