I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
