i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
