Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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