Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
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