dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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