p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
