He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Randomize
