I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
