Don't you send me to vm
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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