I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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