Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
