I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize