i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
