Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
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