Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
My vagina just clenched in fear
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
