I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
