so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I am naked and annoyed.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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