Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
We had to coat check the pizza.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize