She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
