and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
