what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
