Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
