I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
