How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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