feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
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