Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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