brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
