He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
