I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
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