I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..