You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?