I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
