he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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