i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
my being single is dangerous.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
