hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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