you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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