I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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