She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
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