Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
