hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
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