I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Randomize
