You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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