He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Randomize
