she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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