You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
