I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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