my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
