Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
