Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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