We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
