I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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