And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
it's like heaven, but drunker
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
