Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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