I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
