letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
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