they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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