We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
did you just send me my own nude
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
