i just google imaged poop.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Randomize
