Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
