Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
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