Having a random hookup so left but love u
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
